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  • Serie A 2011-2012 Round 38
    13 May 2012

    FIORENTINA 0
    CAGLIARI 0

    Attendance : 10,000
    Assists : n/a


    JUVENTUS 3 (Marrone 10, Del Piero 28, Barzagli 91 Pen)
    ATALANTA 1 (Lichtsteiner 84 og)

    Marrone began the party with a terrific shot following a spot of ball juggling and a back heal lay-off from Borriello. Del Piero marked his last ever (league) game for Juve with a goal via a deflection. He made way to a standing ovation for Pepe. The fans were in tears though surprisingly he wasn't. Lichtsteiner turned in a Bellini centre but Barzagli restored Juve's two goal lead from the penalty post after Lucchini hauled down Borriello.

    It was a season in which everything that could go right for Juventus did go right. Their rivals were beset by problems, they sucked so much last season they didn't have any European distraction and that lazy, treacherous c*nt Pirlo made more effort in a Juve shirt in one season than he has in about 5 for Milan. This past week he attacked Allegri for wanting to switch his position because heaven forbid a coach tells his players where to play. Nesta made a point of saying he would not play for Juventus, giving two fingers to Pirlo.

    Juventus have the best defence in the World and a hard running midfield but when the star of the team is Pirlo it doesn't say much for the quality of the forwards. Injuries and the fatigue of playing in Europe will almost certainly take their toll next season and when Pirlo is shot by Christmas, Juventus better have a plan B. Their top targets are Higuain, because a team with shitty finishers needs another one, and Cavani who would cost around ?40 million which is imagine is most of Juve's budget. Dzeko has also been linked and I could see him being a huge success in Italy. I'm convinced Juve will take out either Real Madrid of Barcelona in next year's Champions League.

    Attendance : 40,994
    Assists : Borriello, n/a, n/a, Borriello


    MILAN 2 (Flamini 56, Inzaghi 82)
    NOVARA 1 (Garcia 20)

    Trademark sloppy defending from a free kick, at least since Thiago Silva was injured, allowed Novara to take a shock lead. Aquilani should have cleared, Gemiti's shot deflected through the wall and Garcia poked the ball wide of Amelia. Flamini, who replaced the injured Boateng on 11 minutes stroked a Cassano centre into the corner. Unusual for him to show good technique. 10 or so minutes from time the moment every Milan supporter had been waiting for arrived. Seedorf chipped a ball over the top towards Inzaghi, with his back to play he trapped the ball on his chest, ran wide of Fontana then volleyed into the net. The celebrations lasted for two minutes.

    At full time Inzaghi, who wrote a moving open letter to the fans earlier in the week, was presented with a plaque by the ultras. Many of the players were in tears although Ambrosini, who unlike Inzaghi, Gattuso, Nesta, Seedorf, Zambrotta and Van Bommel isn't leaving, probably cried the most. Earlier in the week Van Bommel was interview by the Milan Channel who showed a two minute video of his highlights with Coldplay's Fix You as the soundtrack. When they returned to the studio he was in floods of tears and could barely speak. It was a similar case today. Remarkable given he's only been at the club for 18 months. He said he wants to return one day, possibly as coach. He will be welcomed with open arms. He was fantastic.

    Of those leaving Inzaghi, Gattuso and Nesta have a special place in the hearts of all Milan supporters, indeed the ultras held aloft three giant shirts with their names on them covering a whole section of the ground. No one, absolutely no one loved the shirt more than Super Pippo and he will be forever loved for exorcising the demons of Istanbul. In one fell swoop Milan have lost one of the leading strikers in European cup completion history, the best DM of his generation, Makelele had NOTHING on Gattuso, and the best defender of his generation. The three of them genuine all time greats. Even by the standards set at this great club we may never have a group of that quality again and a part of us dies with their leaving.

    Milan face a huge rebuilding job. They have signed Montolivo, who lacks personality and is a soft touch but is a decent passer of the ball and Traore, another DM. Defenders Acerbi and/or Granqvist are strongly tipped to arrive. Robinho and that bastard Pato could be leaving. Tevez or Balotelli are the main targets. Dealing with Man City, who has a gross overestimation of the value of their players, will again prove difficult but Milan need another forward while they wait for El Shaarawy to mature and finish growing. Allegri has been confirmed and received the backing of Berlusconi, which is the reverse of a the dreaded vote of confidence. Barbara hasn't been seen as much since her father retook his presidency which doesn't help Pato.

    Attendance : 45,000
    Assists : n/a, Cassano, Seedorf


    CESENA 2 (Del Nero 9, Santana 90)
    ROMA 3 (Bojan 27, Lamela 32, De Rossi 49)

    Del Nero, who once played of Livingston, smashed home a Santana centre. Bojan equalised with a diving header! Lamela gave Roma the lead with a blistering shot after Totti laid off a Bojan pass with a back heel. De Rossi met Marquinho cross with a header on the run into the bottom corner. Santana scored a wonderful consolation goal. With his back to play he flicked a firm pass behind him, turned and slammed a shot into the roof of the net. Similar to a goal Bergkamp scored I believe against Newcastle.

    The Luis Enrique experiment has, as I expected, failed miserably. He's stepping down and Montella, the man who coached Roma last season, is expected to return. They had been linked with AVB who would have been a disaster.

    Attendance : 14,883
    Assists : Santana, Lamela, Totti, Marquinho


    PARMA 1 (Biabiany 37)
    BOLOGNA 0

    Giovinco has been linked with Barcelona but I just don't see it. Parma own 50% of his rights and if Juve want him back they'll have to pay through the nose also I don't see how he fits with Pirlo playing in a more advanced role.

    Attendance : 16,922
    Assists : Giovinco (ck)


    CATANIA 0
    UDINESE 2 (Di Natale 19, Fabbrini 58)

    Di Natale chased down a longball and managed to shot wide from six yards out. He made amends with an outrageous second. Domizzi angled a ball inside the left channel, with his first touch Di Natale rounded the 'keeper but was almost parallel with the goal-line, as Spolli came diving in with a slide tackle, Di Natale toe poked the ball over him and as it bounced off the turf it spun inside the left post. I've never seen a shot like it. Italy U21 star Fabbrini made a 40 yard run in from the left and dropped a shoulder to go past a defender before shooting hard into the bottom corner.

    Apparently Guidolin may not stay on at Udinese and I can't blame him. He's got them a Champions League place for two seasons straight and no doubt he'll have to start again as his cheap bastard of a president sells of his best players.

    Attendance : 16,300
    Assists : Domizzi, Asamoah


    CHIEVO 1 (Vacek 78)
    LECCE 0

    Vacek scored his first Serie A goal from the edge of the box and in doing so sent Lecce down into Serie B. Muriel and Bertolacci aside, who are both on loan, there's not much to this Lecce side. Cuadrado, who I believe has the most successful dribbles in Serie A, has been linked with Inter. He can dribble but his finishing is the shits even if he did score one of the all time great goals this season.

    Attendance : 11,000
    Red Card : Carrozzieri 81 (Lecce)
    Assist : Paloschi


    GENOA 2 (Gilardino 52, Sculli 70)
    PALERMO 0

    Sculli headed a longball out of defence down to Biondini, Rossi touched on his cross and the once mighty Gilardino tapped in what was only his 5th goal of the season. Sculli played a one-two with Gilardino and rode two lucky bounces before scoring the second.

    Attendance : n/a
    Assists : Rossi, Gilardino


    LAZIO 3 (Kozak 59, Candreva 63, Mauri 91)
    INTER 1 (Milito 45 Pen)

    Ledesma tripped Maicon to concede the penalty on the stroke of half time. Kozak headed Lazio level from a corner. Lulic, who has been on the finds of the season, nutmegged Maicon then went around him before pulling back a centre to Candreva who had time to take a touch before smashing past Castelazzi. Candreva helped on a Mauri ball with a semi no look pass, Kozak, who is quick despite his size, ran through the square Inter back-line and tried to chip Castelazzi, Castelazzi parried the ball and Mauri drove home the rebound.

    Kozak has potential to be a new Klose. He's a giant, strong in the air and has good technique. Kozak could learn a thing or two from Klose. Reja is expected to leave Lazio. They need a progressive coach to bring through their younger players. Gasperini would be perfect. Lazio and Roma have been linked with Siena's former Inter youth team striker Destro. The boy has bags of technique and is very strong but is he another one season wonder like Acquafresca?

    As for Gasperini's former club they have missed out on Champions League football for the first time in a decade. Shame. Lavezzi is the big target which would surely mean the end for Sneijder? A striker is also a pressing concern, Milito is 33 next month and Inter have become far too reliant on him. Pazzini is a bust and Forlan, who will leave, has been one of the flops of the season. Inter have an excellent youth team and it's high time they started making use of it instead of their league of nations approach.

    Attendance : 50,000
    Assists : Maicon (won pen), Ledesma, Kozak, n/a


    NAPOLI 2 (Dossena 3, Dossena 34)
    SIENA 1 (Destro 6)

    Hamsik tried to bring down a cross, miss-controlled but nonetheless got the luck of the bounce and centred for Dossena to give Napoli the perfect start. De Sanctis however threw away the lead when he raced out of his box to clear a ball but missed and Destro bagged his 12th of the season. Campagnaro nutmegged a defender as he cut in from the left, Farelli parried his centre and Dossena became the unlikely match winner.

    Attendance : 41,000
    Assists : Hamsik, Brienza, n/a


    LEADERS
    1. 84 points - Juventus (Champions)
    2. 80 points - Milan
    3. 64 points - Udinese
    UEFA CUP
    4. 62 points - Lazio
    5. 61 points - Napoli
    6. 58 points - Inter
    RELEGATED
    18. Lecce - 36 points
    19. Novara - 32 points
    20. Cesena - 22 points

    TOP GOALSCORERS
    28 goals - Ibrahimovic (Milan, 10 penalties)
    24 goals - Milito (Inter, 8 penalties)
    23 goals - Cavani (Napoli, 3 penalties)

    ASSIST LEADERS
    14 assists - Miccoli (Palermo)
    13 assists - Giovinco (Parma)
    13 assists - Pirlo (Juventus)
    12 assists - Robinho (Milan)

    TEAM OF THE SEASON
    GK. Buffon (Juventus)
    LB. Chiellini (Juventus)
    DB. Bonucci (Juventus)
    DB. Thiago Silva (Milan)
    RB. Maggio (Napoli)
    DM. Nocerino (Milan)
    DM. Vidal (Juventus)
    AM. Pirlo (Juventus)
    FW. Milito (Inter)
    FW. Ibrahimovic (Milan)
    FW. Giovinco (Parma)



  • Serie A 2011-2012 Round 37
    At this stage of the season it's protocol to run the rule over the battle for the title, Champions League and European places and relegation but there's not really much point in going into too much detail as anything is possible.

    3rd place is between Napoli, Udinese, Lazio and Inter. It would be best for Serie A if Napoli make it. If the clown AVB is appointed Inter coach as is speculated, they'll tank in Europe with this squad. The Europa League is his level.

    Cesena and Novara have been relegated to Serie B. Genoa are 3 point clear of 17th placed Lecce but are away to Udinese then finish at home to Palermo who, like Fiorentina and Cagliari, are a point from guaranteed safety. Lecce are at home to Fiorentina then away to Chievo. Lecce's recent form has been excellent.

    1 May 2012

    CATANIA 0
    BOLOGNA 1 (Ramirez 78)


    Attendance : 13,000
    Assists : Garics


    CESENA 0
    UDINESE 1 (Fabbrini 4)

    Attendance : 13,650
    Assist : Danilo


    FIORENTINA 2 (Montolivo 48 Pen, Montolivo 72)
    NOVARA 2 (Jeda 14, Rigoni 30 Pen)

    Midget Jeda scored with a trademark header. Lazzari fouled Porcari to concede the first of two soft penalties. Then we witnessed what was even by Serie A standards one of the all time most insane incidents in the history of this great league. Ljajic was substituted. As he took his place on the bench he started clapping his coach Delio Rossi, who looked over, then Ljajic started mouthing off, apparently he said "go back into your mother's c*nt" in Serbian which Delio Rossi claims to understand, Rossi stood over Ljajic, placed his left hand around his neck and slapped him with his right, as he did so he fell into the dugout then unloaded with slaps with Ljajic shouting "hit harder as they're going to kick you out anyway.". Montolivo began the comeback with a bullshit penalty and drilled a low shot past Coser which should end Fiorentina's relegation worries.

    Delio Rossi was sacked and Ljajic frozen out of the squad, probably for his own good because he team-mates would have beaten the shit of the little prick as well. What an idiot.

    Attendance : 18,132
    Assists : Gemiti, Porcari (won pen), Kasami (won pen), Cerci


    GENOA 2 (Palacio 12, Jankovic 76 fk)
    CAGLIARI 1 (Ariaudo 13)

    Palacio bundled home a corner in this empty stadium match, punishment for Genoa fans holding their players hostage last week. Pinilla headed a corner off the underside of the crossbar and Ariaudo headed in the rebound. Jankovic took home the points and put Genoa one step closer to safety with a terrific free kick.

    Attendance : n/a
    Assists : n/a, n/a, Gilardino (won fk)


    JUVENTUS 1 (Marchisio 8)
    LECCE 1 (Bertolacci 85)

    Pirlo was given time and space to measure a cross and Marchisio headed into the bottom corner. After Cuadrado was somewhat harshly sent off for running into Caceres, who helped greatly with the acting he picked up in Spain, this should have been done and dusted, well it should have been done and dusted in the first half. Barzagli played a back pass to Buffon but his first touch was very heavy, Bertolacci pounced, tackled him and tapped into an empty net. At the end of the season we'll find out if that mistake costs Juventus the scudetto.

    One thing very noticeable from watching Pirlo this season is while at Milan he was largely sat in front of the defence at Juve he plays in the final third with Vidal and/or Marchisio for protection. That's not the only reason he's having his best season in years, he really is one lazy bastard and hadn't put in this much effort at Milan since the early past of LAST decade. Traitor scumbag.

    Attendance : 38,978
    Red Card : Cuadrado 54 (Lecce)
    Assists : Pirlo, n/a


    LAZIO 1 (Ledesma 62 Pen)
    SIENA 1 (Destro 26)

    Destro, unmarked at the back post, headed in a Rossi cross. Candreva, remember him, dived to win the penalty.

    Attendance : 15,000
    Assists : Rossi, Candreva (won pen)


    MILAN 2 (Muntari 9, Robinho 93)
    ATALANTA 0

    Milan unveiled next season's home kit with an old fashioned white collar. It looks stupid Ibrahimovic lead a charge, passed out wide to Boateng and Muntari volley in his low cross. Ibrahimovic floored Consigli with a free kick and Robinho headed in the rebound.

    Attendance : 38,204
    Assists : Boateng, n/a


    PARMA 3 (Marques 53, Giovinco 55, Biabiany 83)
    INTER 1 (Sneijder 13)

    Alvarez won a ball in defence a sprung a counter attack (in slow motion), he passed out wide to Stankovic as Lucio slipped and from a right angle Sneijder slammed the ball into the opposite comer. Giovinco KNOCKED Lucio off the ball as he was trying to dribble out of defence then raced into the box before centring for Marques. A Galloppa long ball sent Giovinco clear of Inter's high line and a superb first touch put him in on goal and he whipped a shot over Julio Cesar. Parma exposed Inter's high line for the third, Giovinco sent Biabiany away with an angled pass as a team-mate put on the breaks to stave off the linesman's flag, Biabiany knocked the ball past Julio Cesar as he raced off his line then ran into the box and tapped into an empty net. Lucarelli made a superb goal-line clearance.

    Biabiany has gone from a joke figure to Inter to becoming one of the best counter attacking players in Serie A. Even more ironic is the fact that he was a makeweight in the deal that took Pazzini to Inter and has scored the same number of league goals this season - 5. Another season of performances like this and he'll be off to a bigger club.

    Fantastic job by Donadoni - the Italian Roy Hodgson. He hasn't fared well in high profile jobs such as Italy and at Napoli but at provincial sides he's brilliant. He did a phenomenal job at Livorno and taking Parma to 8th is an incredible achievement.

    Attendance : 9,620
    Assists : Stankovic, Giovinco, Galloppa, Giovinco


    30 April 2012

    CHIEVO 0
    ROMA 0

    Attendance : 11,000
    Assist : n/a


    NAPOLI 2 (Cavani 16 Pen, Hamsik 35)
    PALERMO 0

    Cavani put away a penalty awarded for handball. Pandev, who forced the penalty, made the second with a brilliant reverse pass, Hamsik took the ball on his chest before firing into the corner. Cavani should have scored a second but wasted a superb Pandev pass.

    Lavezzi was dropped as speculation over his future mounts. PSG seem early favourites. Pandev took his chance to impress in his absence brilliantly. There's no question he has the talent but he's nowhere near as consistent as Lavezzi.

    Attendance : 41,000
    Assists : n/a, Pandev



    LEADERS
    78 points - Juventus
    77 points - Milan
    58 points - Napoli & Udinese
    56 points - Lazio

  • UCL 2011-2012 Semi-Finals Days Three & Four
    25 April 2012

    REAL MADRID 2 (Ronaldo 6 Pen, Ronaldo 14)
    BAYERN MUNICH 1 (Robben 27 Pen)

    Real Madrid got a bullshit penalty when a Di Maria shot whacked into Aja Kong's arm. Robben should have equalised from six yards following a storming run by Alaba. Ronaldo tapped in a brilliant Ozil pass to double Real Madrid's lead. At this stage it looked like game over but Bayern were creating plenty of chances. Pepe shoved Gomez to concede the penalty. Casillas got a fingertips to the ball but couldn't keep out Robben's penalty. Gomez had the only notable chance in the second half, made by Robben, but took to long to shoot and was closed down.

    Xabi Alonso was trending in the UK during the first half. Seriously British football fans are such stupid bastards. La Liga flat track bullies Di Maria, Benzema and Higuain were anonymous.

    Alaba - bottom right
    Ronaldo - left of centre SAVED
    Gomez - bottom left
    Kaka' - bottom left SAVED
    Kroos - bottom right SAVED
    Xabi Alonso - chipped wide of Neuer
    Lahm - left of centre SAVED
    Ramos - Into outer space
    Schweinsteiger - left of centre

    Badstuber, Alaba and Gustavo are suspended for the final. Bayern will be short in defence but Tymoschuk can fill in at centre back.

    Attendance : 82,619
    Assists : n/a, Ozil, Gomez


    24 April 2012

    BARCELONA 2 (Busquets 35, Iniesta 43)
    CHELSEA 2 (Ramires 46, Torres 92)

    Cahill injured himself in the opening minutes. He lost his balance, almost doing the splits after being turned by Sanchez. He was replaced by Bosingwa. Cech made an excellent point blank save from Messi after he ran onto a Fabregas back heal. Drogba headed out a corner to Alvez, he slipped in Cuenca on the overlap and Busquets tapped in his centre. Terry was sent off for kneeing Sanchez in the back, an incident missed the referee. Barca countered after the awful Meireles carelessly gave away the ball to Busquets, Sanchez and Messi turned on passes to Iniesta, again free down Chelsea's right, and he stepped past Ramires before tapping into a corner. Ramires passed into Lampard who held off Mascherano before angling a fantastic pass inside Mascherano and Busquets sending Ramires clear of Puyol and Cuenca, as Valdes came off his line Ramires dinked a lob over him and into the bottom left corner. Marvellous goal. World Soccer curmudgeon Paul Gardner suggested players may resort to the 'dink' when confronted by a 'keeper after Messi's performance against Leverkusen and so he has been proved right. Barcelona created one more chance after Mikel, who was pure dogshit, gave away the ball on the edge of the box but Cech saved.

    Mr. Disingenuous Fabregas dived to win a penalty under zero contact from Drogba but Messi hammered his shot against the crossbar. Shame. In the dying minutes Messi struck a post with a low drive. Torres lost possession trying to dribble out of defence, Cole charged down a Barcelona shot on goal and sent Torres clear with a longball into the Barcelona half, Torres ran wide of Valdes, jumped over as he tried to trip him and tapped the ball into an empty net. Even he couldn't miss that one!

    So happy to see that Disingenuous shit Fabregas go from failing to win titles at Arsenal to failing to win titles at Barcelona. Guardiola suggested a tactical rethink but he's stepping down so it's someone else's problem. Hopefully it's an end to their tedious ball hogging football. No one likes ball hoggers. Don't like it on the park and don't like it here and before the financial dopers rebuild they should try paying some bills. And one more thing, Sid Lowe - fuck off. Not so smart with the replies to my tweets now.

    Bookings rule Terry, Ivanovic, Ramires and Meireles out of the final. Ramires in particular will be a huge miss. Bayern of course have suspensions of their own but should overrun Chelsea in midfield and without Ivanovic and Terry to deal with Gomez it's going to be a long night for whoever has to mark him and deal with Bayern's left.

    Chelsea win 3-2 on aggregate.

    Attendance : 95,845
    Assists : Cuenca, Messi, Lampard, Cole





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